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“You have arrived at this page because somewhere deep inside you — beneath the scar tissue, beneath the decades of disappointment, beneath the coaching carousels and the missed field goals and the trades that looked good in April — there is a fan who still believes. We salute you.”

What You Actually Get

Fuller content of the day’s top stories — for all 32 NFL teams, every single day.

Free subscribers see the front page headlines and teasers, team by team. All-Access subscribers get the full articles — every story, complete, delivered to your inbox every day, for every NFL team in the network, not just this one. Same articles. Just longer. Fuller. The whole thing. No “keep reading.”

Plus Seven Weeks of Bonus Content.
One Per Week. Every Cycle. Every Team.

Every All-Access subscriber gets one bonus content piece per week, every week, rotating through all seven formats — and it is not limited to one team. Your subscription unlocks the full Bonus Content library across all 32 NFL team sites in the network. Here is exactly what that looks like on the Broncos page specifically — the full thing, live, right here, so you know exactly what you are getting before you spend a single dime.

Week One — You Get This
Real Fake Trivia Game

A full Jeopardy-style board built entirely around your team’s history, lore, disasters, and occasional moments of glory. Four categories. Five clues each. $200 through $1,000. The $1,000 questions are genuinely hard. We verified every fact. We are not kidding about that part. Click on any one of the boxes and start the game!

Mile High Files Super Bowl 50 The Elway Era The Payton-Nix Era
$200$200$200$200
$400$400$400$400
$600$600$600$600
$800$800$800$800
$1,000$1,000$1,000$1,000

That’s Week One. Next week you get this →

Week Two — You Get This
Classified Ads

Nine satirical classified ads, three columns, all team-specific. FOR SALE. WANTED. LOST & FOUND. HELP WANTED. ANNOUNCEMENT. NOTICE. PERSONALS. OBITUARIES. The CONTACT line is always the punchline. Always.

For Sale

One (1) AFC Championship Appearance — Lightly Used, January 2026

The Broncos went 14–3, won the AFC West for the first time since 2015, and reached the AFC Championship game. They lost. Bo Nix broke his ankle in the Divisional round win and was limited. The Super Bowl was not reached. The 14–3 record is very much available for reference. The ankle has since been repaired. The Super Bowl remains outstanding.

ContactS. Payton. He went 14–3. He lost the AFC Championship. He has had a lot of time to think about this. He has made several staff changes as a result.
Wanted

One Super Bowl — Last Confirmed: February 2016, Mile High Patience Running

The Broncos last won the Super Bowl after the 2015 season with Peyton Manning. That was ten years ago. They have since cycled through numerous quarterbacks, including Case Keenum, Joe Flacco, Drew Lock, Teddy Bridgewater, Russell Wilson, and Jarrett Stidham before landing on Bo Nix. Bo Nix is the one. S. Payton has confirmed Bo Nix is the one. The Super Bowl has not confirmed anything yet.

ContactBroncos Country. They have been waiting ten years. They went 14–3. They are very close. The ankle is healing. They are patient. They are still patient.
Lost & Found

Missing: Bo Nix's Ankle — Recovered, But the AFC Title Went With It

Nix broke his ankle in the Divisional round win over the Bills. He played through it in the AFC Championship and was limited. The Broncos lost. The ankle has been repaired over the offseason. Nix is targeting full health for Week 1. The AFC Championship is not something that can be repaired. It has been filed. The Super Bowl window remains open.

ContactB. Nix. He is recovering. He is targeting Week 1. He is aware of what happened in January. He would like to revisit January under different circumstances.
Help Wanted

Offensive Coordinator — Previous Holder Fired Two Days After AFC Title Loss

J. Lombardi was relieved two days after the AFC Championship defeat. D. Webb, age 31, has been promoted from quarterbacks coach to offensive coordinator and given the play-calling duties. Webb has never called plays in the NFL. He has been working beside S. Payton for three years. S. Payton considers this sufficient preparation. The Super Bowl window remains open while Webb learns the role.

ContactD. Webb. He is 31. He is calling the plays. He has worked next to S. Payton for three years. He knows what S. Payton would call. He is ready.
Announcement

Official Statement: The Window Is Open, the Ankle Is Healing, the Plan Is Unchanged

The Denver Broncos announce that the Super Bowl window remains open. B. Nix is recovering. D. Webb has been promoted. The offensive line, the best in the AFC, remains intact. Broncos Country is informed that 14–3 was not an accident and that the AFC Championship loss was an injury-affected anomaly. S. Payton has used the words “unfinished business” in at least three press availabilities.

ContactS. Payton. He has used the phrase “unfinished business.” He means it. He fired his offensive coordinator two days after the title game. He really means it.
For Sale
Pending

The Quarterback Wasteland Era — 2016 to 2023, Seven Quarterbacks, Full Set

Available as a complete unit: seven starting quarterbacks between Manning's retirement and Bo Nix's arrival. Includes Keenum, Flacco, Lock, Bridgewater, Wilson (two seasons), and Stidham. Buyer receives all associated records. The era concluded with the Bo Nix selection in 2024. The era has been filed. Bo Nix is not for sale. The era is pending disposition.

ContactEmpower Field at Mile High. It hosted all of them. It has seen things. It prefers the current situation. It is not going back.
Notice

Attn: AFC West — We Have the Division Title and Unfinished Business

The Denver Broncos formally notify the AFC West that they won the division in 2025, went 14–3, and reached the AFC Championship. They lost with an injured quarterback. They have that quarterback back. They have the same offensive line. They have a new offensive coordinator. They have S. Payton, who fired his coordinator two days after the title game. The AFC West has been notified.

ContactThe AFC West. It has received this notice. The Chiefs are rehabbing. The Raiders are rebuilding. The Chargers have Herbert. Denver has unfinished business. The division is aware.
Personals

Seeking: One Super Bowl, Tenth Year Running Since the Last One

Broncos Country, Mile High and beyond. Have watched the quarterback wasteland. Have watched Bo Nix arrive and go 14–3. Have watched the AFC Championship slip away on an ankle. Have Nix back. Have S. Payton. Have the offensive line. Have the orange and blue and the unfinished business. Would like very much to finish the business. Have been patient for ten years. Still patient. Still orange.

ContactBroncos Country. They filled Empower Field through the wasteland years. They are still filling it. They are ready for the business to be finished.
Obituaries

The 2025 Denver Broncos Season — Record 14–3, AFC Champion Runner-Up, Age 1

Passed in January 2026, following an AFC Championship loss with an injured quarterback. It went 14–3. It won the AFC West. It reached the conference title game. It did not reach the Super Bowl. It is survived by a healed quarterback, an unhealed coaching staff memory, a fired offensive coordinator, and Broncos Country, who considers 14–3 a very good foundation and would like to build on it immediately.

ContactThe Super Bowl. It was not attended in January 2026. The Broncos noted the absence. S. Payton noted the absence. D. Webb is now calling the plays. The absence is being addressed.

That’s Week Two. The week after that you get this →

Week Three — You Get This
Top Ten List

A full team-specific Top Ten list. Completely deadpan. Treats every item with total journalistic seriousness. The list below is a sample. Yours will be specific to your team’s particular situation, history, and ongoing triumphs and disasters.

Top Ten Things You Can Buy for $24 at Empower Field at Mile High
  • 10.One domestic beer, purchased beneath a banner that says AFC WEST CHAMPIONS and, in smaller print, AFC CHAMPIONSHIP RUNNER-UP.
  • 9.Parking, a mile-high walk from the gate, past a mural of Bo Nix that was painted before the ankle.
  • 8.A D. Webb nameplate, freshly engraved, 31 years old, promoted two days after the loss.
  • 7.Half a green chile burger, the other half reserved for whichever offensive coordinator survives the season.
  • 6.One ceremonial ankle brace, unopened, purely symbolic at this point.
  • 5.A laminated printout of the phrase “unfinished business,” used by Sean Payton in at least three press availabilities.
  • 4.A commemorative 14–3 banner, asterisk included, framed next to the AFC Championship loss.
  • 3.A Sean Payton visor, freshly worn, still smoldering slightly from the coordinator firing.
  • 2.Four months of this subscription. Which includes 16 pieces of premium satirical content, a trivia game, classified ads, a children's book, and a staff that has tracked the exact 48 hours between the AFC Championship loss and the coordinator firing.
  • 1.Hope, sold mile high, orange and blue, extra thin air included at no charge.
  • That’s Week Three. Week Four brings this →

    Week Four — You Get This
    Fake eBay Listing

    Seven team-specific fake eBay listings, ready to go every cycle, styled exactly like the real site — photo, description, seller, and current bid. The items are always something your team has misplaced, squandered, or never possessed. Reserve has not been met, and never may be met.

    Vintage Helmet — ORANGE — ‘The Elway Era’
    Seller: mile_high_memories
    Condition: Historically Significant
    A classic orange helmet with the old 'D' logo. It represents a time when we actually drafted Hall of Fame quarterbacks instead of paying $85 million for someone to go away. It is slightly scuffed. It is perfect.
    $1,998
    current bid
    Massive Steel Vault Door — LOCKED — ‘The $85M Hit’
    Seller: walton_penner_group
    Condition: Philosophically Compromised
    A massive, incredibly heavy steel vault door. It has '85M' painted on it. It represents the dead cap space we finally cleared in 2026. It is rusted shut. We are finally free. Please take it away.
    $85
    current bid
    Multiple Choice Test — ACED — ‘The Bo Nix Exam’
    Seller: sean_payton_office
    Condition: Cautiously Optimistic
    A pristine, complex multi-page multiple choice test document. It is the exact test Sean Payton gave to Bo Nix before the draft. He aced it. It proves he processes information faster than Patrick Mahomes. We are choosing to believe this.
    $2,024
    current bid
    Single Orange Confetti — SAD — ‘Super Bowl 48’
    Seller: seattle_seahawks_defense
    Condition: Structurally Unsound
    A single, incredibly sad looking piece of orange confetti. It was swept up from the floor of MetLife Stadium after the 43-8 loss to Seattle. It is a physical manifestation of the worst night of our lives.
    $43
    current bid
    Super Bowl 50 Ticket Stub — PRISTINE — ‘The Sheriff's Last Ride’
    Seller: von_miller_fan_club
    Condition: Historically Haunted
    A pristine, framed Super Bowl 50 ticket stub. It is a reminder that defense wins championships, and that Peyton Manning's arm didn't need to work for us to win. It is the last good memory we have.
    $50
    current bid
    Silver Whistle — UNUSED — ‘The Extension’
    Seller: broncos_front_office
    Condition: Cautiously Optimistic
    A brand new, shiny silver whistle. It represents the 5-year contract extension given to Sean Payton through 2030. It is a commitment to stability. It is a commitment to the process. It is a commitment to not firing another coach after one year.
    $2,030
    current bid
    Deflated Orange Balloon — SAD — ‘The QB Carousel’
    Seller: mile_high_salute
    Condition: Emotionally Unavailable
    A slightly deflated orange balloon. It represents the 13 different starting quarterbacks we had between Peyton Manning and Bo Nix. It is tired. We are tired. Please let Bo Nix be the one.
    $13
    current bid

    That’s Week Four. Then comes this →

    Week Five — You Get This
    The Outer Limits Enquirer

    One team-specific Outer Limits Enquirer front page, every cycle. Completely straight-faced. It sells itself — that’s how funny it is.

    ■ Transmission Received — Parallel Universe Dispatch ■
    Outer Limits Enquirer — Broncos edition front page
    Signal Strong — Standing By

    That’s Week Five. Week Six delivers this →

    Week Six — You Get This
    NFL Competition Committee Proposes

    Four new proposed NFL rules, each presented with complete regulatory seriousness. The title is always “THE NFL COMPETITION COMMITTEE PROPOSES:” followed by the rule name. Three to five sentences of deadpan satire. A new batch of four rules, every seven-week cycle.

    Official Proposal 1 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Feelings Rule

    Effective immediately, any player who is visibly sad after a penalty will be allowed to challenge the call on emotional grounds. The replay official will review the player’s expression in slow motion. If certified “genuinely devastated” by a panel of three therapists stationed in the press box, the penalty is waived. The Dallas Cowboys have already filed 847 pre-season challenges.

    Official Proposal 2 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Mandatory Honesty From Coaches

    Starting in 2026, head coaches will be required to answer one post-game question with complete honesty. The question will be selected at random by a wheel spin. Early testing was abandoned after three coaches resigned, one cried, and Bill Belichick’s honest answer was legally classified as a threat.

    Official Proposal 3 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    The Participation Fumble

    In an effort to make fumbles less discouraging, any fumble recovered by the opposing team will now be referred to as an “unintentional lateral.” The player who fumbled will receive a certificate of effort. The team that recovered it will receive six points. Both outcomes will be celebrated equally on the official broadcast.

    Official Proposal 4 of 4 — NFL Competition Committee — 2026 Season

    The NFL Competition Committee Proposes:
    Announcer Accuracy Ratings

    All play-by-play announcers will now be graded in real time by a panel of former players. Phrases such as “he just wanted it more,” “that’s a football player right there,” and “you cannot teach that” will trigger an automatic fine of $500 per occurrence. Early projections suggest the league will be debt-free by Week 3.

    That’s Week Six. And saving the best for last →

    Week Seven — You Get This
    The Children’s Book
    A Landolfi Media Original

    A fully illustrated satirical children’s book, team-specific, written for the fan who has a child who needs to understand why Sunday afternoons are like this. The illustrations are beautiful. The subject matter is not. Both things are intentional.

    Your Team’s Complete Illustrated History — Included With Every Subscription
    “Denver Broncos, 1960”
    The Story of the Denver Broncos — Read the Full Book Below, Cover to Last Page
    Denver Broncos, 1960 — page viewer
    Denver Broncos, 1960
    The Story of the Denver Broncos.
    A Landolfi Media Children’s Book.
    Page 1 of 11
    Complete Illustrated History · Cover + 10 Pages · Included With Paid Subscription

    In the upcoming weeks and months with your paid subscription, you can also look forward to titles like these:

    Also In Development — Next Release
    “Why Does Daddy Cry On Sundays?”
    A heartwarming story about a father, his team, and the annual tradition of explaining to a seven-year-old why the season is technically over in Week Eleven. Daddy is going to be okay. He has been through this before. He loves his team. That is the whole story.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “Daddy’s Team Is Very Special (Just Not At Football)”
    A celebration of everything a football team can be excellent at besides winning football games. The uniforms are nice. The stadium is large. The merchandise is widely available. A story about finding joy in the details when the scoreboard is unkind.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon
    Also In Development
    “The Night We Almost Made the Playoffs”
    A timeless bedtime story about a very special evening in December when everything was possible. The math worked out. The other teams lost. The tickets were being researched. And then the fourth quarter happened. A story about hope, arithmetic, and the importance of not checking the score too early.
    In Development · Fully Illustrated · Coming Soon

    What Subscribers Are Saying

    “I read the D. Webb classified out loud at work. My coworker, a Chiefs fan, actually looked concerned for us. That’s new.”
    — R. Trujillo, Highlands, Denver · 5-Month Subscriber
    “My dad still talks about The Drive like it happened last week. This newsletter finally gave him new material from this century.”
    — Anonymous · 4-Month Subscriber
    “The trivia card about Super Bowl 50 made my whole tailgate go quiet out of respect. Then somebody yelled Omaha and everyone cheered.”
    — T. Aragon, Golden, Colo. · 6-Month Subscriber
    “My daughter asked why the offensive coordinator only lasted two days after the game. I said that’s just how it works here now. She accepted this.”
    — K. Whitfield, Aurora, Colo. · 3-Month Subscriber
    “Cancelled briefly after the AFC Championship loss out of grief. Resubscribed because unfinished business doesn’t finish itself.”
    — Anonymous · Auto-Renew, No Regrets
    “I keep the classifieds in my car for the drive up I-25. Broncos Country deserves good literature at altitude.”
    — M. Sandoval, Lakewood, Colo. · 7-Month Subscriber
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    Everything in Free, plus full daily articles and one new Bonus Content drop every week on a rotating seven-week cycle — a fan trivia game, a fake eBay auction, classified ads, The Outer Limits Enquirer, a children’s book parody, a Top Ten List, and an NFL Competition Committee ruling — for all 32 NFL teams in the network, the Broncos included. Plus the complete archive, for every team, from day one.

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    $9 per month…just 30 cents / day. That works out to be 3 dimes exactly, or a quarter and a nickel. And it is no longer just one team — that 30 cents covers full articles and Bonus Content for all 32 NFL teams in the network. We are asking you to spend the cost of approximately nothing to have your suffering (and everyone else’s) witnessed, documented, and returned to you in a funnier format than it arrived.

    Other Things You Could Buy for 30¢
    ( If For Some Reason You Really and Truly Didn’t Want to Laugh Today )

    1. A quarter at a vending machine, with a nickel left over. That nickel is yours to keep. It is the only refund this list offers.
    2. Just under a third of a gumball from a machine that still exists somewhere in 1987.
    3. The look on someone’s face when you tell them you subscribe to a satirical NFL newsletter that covers all 32 teams. That look is free. The newsletter is 30 cents a day.
    4. A little over a third of a postage stamp. Stamps are about 80¢ now. Your 30¢ covers roughly the top third. This is not enough to mail anything to anyone. This subscription delivers considerably more — for every NFL team.
    5. About three-quarters of a birthday candle. The kind from the dollar store 10-pack. It will burn for a little over a minute. This subscription burns considerably longer, covers every NFL team, and produces significantly more joy and marginally less wax.
    6. 0.00002% of your team’s starting quarterback’s daily salary. He earns more between breakfast and the first snap than you will spend on this subscription in a year. This year that figure also covers 31 other starting quarterbacks’ teams. We thought you should know that. We are not sure why. It felt relevant.
    7. Nothing at a parking meter in any American city built after 1990. The meter will reject your 30 cents. We will not reject your 30 cents. We will give you seven weeks of content for it — for every NFL team.
    8. A shot glass of gasoline, which might be just enough to get you to an ATM to take out $9 for your first month of All-Access. The math works. The metaphor also works. Please do not drink the gasoline.

    Hey — you’ve made it this far. You’ve looked at all seven weeks of bonus content you’ll be receiving — for all 32 NFL teams, not just this one. You’ve also seen that you’ll be getting daily, full-length headline articles from the entire network — every side article, too. Obviously you love your team with a passion to have lasted this long and smiled this much.

    Yep. We can see you.

    There’s nothing left to do but spend the 30¢ / day and have this feeling — for every NFL team — last the whole year through.

    I mean really — what more is there to think about? Do you want to smile today (and every day) or not?

    “By subscribing you acknowledge that you are a fan in good standing, that you have suffered, that you will continue to suffer, and that $9 per month is a reasonable fee for having that suffering — and the suffering of 31 other NFL fanbases — witnessed and documented with the respect it deserves. Cancel anytime. Your team will not cancel anything. Neither will the other 31. They will all be here next season. And the season after that.”

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